Wedding of the Future

I do.
© Getty

At least since 50 years ago most people in the world have contemplated the idea of having a big and fancy wedding. With that has come the fashion, the designs, the rituals and the ceremonies that have become affordable to lots of people. Weddings have become one of the most  important and memorable events in the package of marriage.

Lets see what  a philosophy magazine has to say about the future of weddings specially the need for new vows

I accept that I am – in countless ways I don’t yet know – very hard to live with.

We accept not to panic when, some years from now, what we are doing today will seem like the worst decision of our lives.

When you are mean, when you call me a c*** and a fucking bastard, I will strive to remember that at heart, it is because you are hurt – not that you are fundamentally nasty.

Everyone has some very significant things wrong with them. We promise not to look around. There isn’t anyone better out there really. Once you get to know them, everyone is impossible.

Being allowed never to insert one’s penis into a new person, or have someone else new insert their penis into oneself, is one of the tragedies of existence. I apologize that my jealousy and your jealousy have made this peculiar, but entirely necessary self-immolation necessary.

 © Getty
© Getty

[Silence from the audience, followed by a melancholy rendition of Pergolesi’s Stabat Mater, during which an asparagus and a lemon, symbols of free sexuality are buried in a three-metre-deep hole in the ground covered with marble or concrete.]

The couple then repeats: We accept to witness the slow death of our sexuality. We realise we won’t be doing it that often from now on.

I won’t have affairs, not because you’re so perfect, but because I’ve decided to be disappointed by you, and you alone, and you’ll be disappointed by me, and me alone, rather than both of us foisting our troubled selves on innocent members of the community, who would be deeply annoying too once one got to know them.

[In unison with the audience] Many days we’ll be unhappy; many days, we’ll suffer, many days we’ll regret we ever did this crazy thing. It’s not congratulations we need, it’s commiserations.

 


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